Food Fashion and Flow: A Heart That Forgives   

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A Heart That Forgives

It is ironic that I find myself writing about forgiveness when I just watched a television show about revenge. The new breakout series from ABC "Revenge" had me on the edge of my seat. I ate popcorn and watched episodes on Netflix.  I even found myself rooting for the shows main character Emily Thorne as she went on a quest to take down those that caused so much pain and suffering in her life.  

And then long after the credits rolled and I powered off the television, I thought about how much time and energy it requires to make your life's mission revenge against another person. It takes a lot of energy that can be directed to positive things rather than a pursuit that requires you to dig two graves.

Forgiving is hard.  A heart that forgives requires more stamina and strength than bending wrought iron with your bare hands.  But in the process you set free the prisoner that was yourself. There is nothing more liberating than forgiving someone who has done you wrong. It is not for them, it is for you. Don't waste your time thinking about revenge because God says vengeance is his. 

I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately.  I was spending some time with a new friend and we were talking about our lives. I began sharing a little bit about my life with my new friend. When I finished talking she was visibly angry, pissed off is more like it. My friend took on my pain in a way that only someone with true empathy could. For a moment she allowed herself to walk in my shoes. She felt everything I was describing as if it happened to her. I saw her frown and then her eyes welled up with tears.

 She asked me how could I be so calm and so forgiving to those who have wronged me and impacted my life in such a negative way and  I told her that I did not want to waste my life being angry and bitter at people. 

Forgiving someone does not mean you automatically feel better. At times when I cross paths with those who have plotted against me, lied on me, smiled in my face and took a machete to my back, it still stings. You can forgive, but forgetting is like trying to vacuum your mind. People toss around the phrase forgive and forget like its a frisbee, but in reality sometimes you never forget. It is ok to be angry, sad or whatever emotion emotion you feel. You have to sit with it for a moment and own that feeling before you can release it and let it go.

How can you forgive when it hurts so bad? Imagine trusting someone with  your life and then they try to take it from you? Sharing dreams and secrets and they use it against you? Or they wipe their feet on your heart? Or worst of all, they give you the Judas kiss, which is the ultimate act of betrayal.  What do you do?

You forgive...

Have you ever had to forgive someone who hurt you so deeply that you thought you would never heal?

A heart that forgives is a heart that lives...



Anonymous said...

Wonderful post!! I agree, it really is important to forgive. :)


Oluwaseun Sodunke said...

Oh, Forgiveness! Hmm! I've been hurt by a few people and I now know what forgiveness means. Forgiveness is releasing yourself from the bondage the person might have put you in. It is knowing that you deserve to be happy without them. Forgiveness is not easy, but it does take time and strength to reach there.

Thanks so much for sharing this. I'm glad you were able to forgive those who have wronged you, because you deserve happiness. Forgiveness sets us free! :)

DaFashionFreak said...

Oh this is so touching... Only few people understand what forgiveness really is.
Thanks for telling the importance of FORGIVENESS.

Take care


Emmy said...

Another thought-provoking post, LV. I must admit that it's one of those things that are easier said than done for me, esp. when it comes to certain people. You are right, however. It is a waste of energy, and we are not perfect ourselves.

Frannie Pantz said...

What a great post LV. I've thought about this topic a lot in my life. Usually I am very quick to forgive. However, I have had someone in my life that I have been unable to forgive. He hurt my oldest son, Kaden, in a very cruel way. I have often thought if I could ever forgive him. It certainly would be nice to not carry that hurt around anymore, but every time I think of what he did, it makes me so sad for my son. I hope that time will heal this wound, but it has been three years and I still feel so awful about it. Anyway, time will tell if I ever get the courage, ey? Thanks for posting this!

LV said...

@Haylie, yes it is absolutely important and people don't realize just how much.

@Oluwaseun, Yes, unforgiveness is definitely bondage and forgiving those that hurt me was one of the most difficult things in my life

@Da Fashion Freak, yes few people really understand what it means

@Emmy, it is definitely easier said than done. It is a struggle for me too

@Frannie, Fran you know I understand because I am a mom too. Only another mother understands the pain when someone hurts your child or tries to hurt them. And our son's share the same name. I understand what you are dealing with more than you know. *Hugs*

Vanessa said...

Very important post! Xo!

~Jeimy~ said...

lovely post!

Francesca Romana Capizzi said...

I thin this has been a cathartic post for you and I see that you are a very well balanced person, Forgiveness as well as the capacity to admit our faults is a gift reserved to strong people!
Don't Call Me Fashion Blogger

Guru Uru said...

I am watching revenge as I type, popcorn in hand :D
It does make you wonder about forgiveness, what a great post!

Choc Chip Uru

Karen said...

REVENGE is my show...

You have said it all. Revenge and holding anger in your heart hurts you more than the other person most of the time.

Jesus Christ paid it all at the we don't have to carry any burdens of the world.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.


Nikell said...

Another really really good post!!

I have had to deal with forgiving my father. He has been in and out my life, my entire life. I had always said with my mouth that I forgave him but my heart said something else. It wasn't and still isn't easy but it is possible.

oomph. said...

with forgiveness comes acceptance. you can't forget something that happened, but one can accept it and move on. life's too short to be angry or revengeful...

...unless you're emily stone!!! i just finished watching the season on netflix, too! i didn't want it to end!


Sidra said...

Awesome post! Forgiveness is something I struggle with on a daily basis. After reading this post, I will work on my struggle:-) Thanks LV!

Mrs. Pancakes said...

Greet post...something we all need to remember forgiveness can mean to be the stronger person!

Mrs. Pancakes said...

Greet post...something we all need to remember forgiveness can mean to be the stronger person!

MissRockwell said...

What an amazing post. Everything that I may want to say right now, you have already said. Very well, I might add. Thanks for sharing!

Cee said...

What a powerful post, and I absolutely love the quote you ended it with - Oscar Wilde was a man with a sense of humour, but he also made a very good point. Not only is forgiveness a great tool of heeling, it is also, in many ways, the best revenge. Be well.

Vivi N. said...

"Revenge" is one of my favorite shows. I'm blown away you were inspired from a TV show to write this post. I truly enjoyed ready your thoughts about revenge and forgiveness.

Ofure O. said... it..:)

Heel in Mint said...

I am so with you on this. I think it is a waste of time to plot revenge or worry about what people did to you. It hurts but energy spent on building yourself up is something that is going to take you somewhere higher. You are smart :)

Heel in Mint

Hang T. Tran said...

Such a beautiful post. You always have words of wisdoms.

Miss Dre said...

This is such a lovely post, LV. And you're so right. Sometimes it's best for our hearts to forgive and move on. It took me several years of my life to forgive someone who I felt had wronged me, only to find that I had the wrong idea all the while. That person is no longer here, so I am unable to make amends. I regret the time I spent angry and upset, when I should have found forgiveness in my heart, as God forgives us for all the wrongs we do. Thank you for sharing this powerful reminder!

And Revenge is one of my favorite shows. Emily makes me feel so bad for her! I wish she would forget all about avenging her father's death and live her life! But then again, we wouldn't have a show would we? lol

Inez said...

Wow, what a powerful post! So glad I stopped by and saw this morning. This hits close to home as I've had to recently forgive two of the most important people in my life.

Thank you for the encouragement to keep doing the right thing! <3

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