Food Fashion and Flow: Member of the Club   

Monday, July 11, 2011

Member of the Club

 Jennifer Anniston
Member of the Club

In life many of us covet the membership in exclusive clubs. They all have different names, such as sororities, special societies, the office clique, or any number of clubs that signify “status and clout”

I am in a very exclusive club with some of the worlds most powerful and famous women, but I was inducted into this club against my will. I never wanted to be a member. And I don’t want you to be a member either. There are some clubs no one should aspire to join.
There is one thing that unites each member of this club in solidarity and another thing that separates us. Some chose to stay and others like me, chose to walk away from the one that made us all a member of this club that none of us wanted to join.

I had dreams of prince charming. Big obnoxious watercolor dreams of a  house and a white picket fence.  Those dreams were replaced by the worst kind of pain and nightmares that chased me in y my sleep at night. My tears were my breakfast, lunch and dinner. I held onto the dream until my hands just finally released it and let go.

It is very hard to give up on a dream.

 I watched my picket fence dream go up in smoke when I decided to walk away from what made me cry and chase after happiness. Betrayal is ugly. It breaks up families, it tears hearts in two. It is ugly like a wound that won't heal.  I learned the hurting lesson that you can be a good person and be dealt a bad hand.  I was a good person. I didn't deserve to be treated like that.

Betrayal is a bitter pill to swallow, but I know my worth and no one will ever treat me like less than a jewel.

My daddy told me so.

He said that no diamond should ever be treated like a piece of cheap glass.

My daddy told me so.    

He let his daughter know.

He told me that what goes around comes around. Universal law.  He told me to hold my head up high and walk away.

I did.

 Elizabeth Edwards
Member of the Club

 Sandra Bullock
Member of the Club

Maria Shriver
Member of the Club

Brenda Ritchie (pictured with her daughter Nicole Ritchie)
Member of the Club

Christie Brinkley
Member of the Club

Wisdom is knowing when to walk away...

I have revoked my membership in “the club” but the scars on my heart have made me a charter member. But I’m only broken hearted. Life is not over. I can start again

I can start again

I can start again

I can start again

I can start again

I can start again

I can start again

I can start again

He tried to break me, but I’m healing. I am more than a conqueror.

I can start again

And in time I will forget how he tried to destroy me

Isaiah 54:7

No weapon formed against me shall prosper



Shoe said...

In the beginning, I was wondering what kind of club you meant, and then I understood. I am sorry to hear about your pain, but I found it inspiring to read about your healing process. Great post.

Francesca said...

i hope you are okay dear <3 xx opinionslave

Fashionista said...

Deep breaths,deep breaths. This too shall pass. Much love to you.

Leah said...

These are very powerful words. I think you've used your pain in a very positive way to somehow help others that are in that same situation. May you stand upon God's word for guidance and strength.

xo Leah.

Jen said...

I am so sorry! Definately not an easy time for you. But you're right, you can start again, and you WILL start again!!

I'm not sure if you're interested but I have a quote blog that helps a lot of my readers get through stuff just like this. Check it out if you want...



Sick by Trend said...

Aniston is fabulous :D


Kat said...

Wow, this post really touched me. I admire your strength in recognizing when to leave. Your father sounds like he raised a confident woman who knows how she deserves to be treated. Thank you for sharing. - Kat

Francesca R said...

What you wrote says that you are almost over it. step is to forget about everything and every time the thought cross your mind you have to think about something else. It is not cowardy, it is survival.
Do it rightaway, or start doing it.

downtownchicagobarbie said...

I was truly touch by this blog. I've been there. At such a young age I went through a divorce and sometime you have to know when to walk away. There are so many women who are scared to do what some of us have done. You think that your life is over but if you stayed your life would be over. You have to think of this as a new beginning. Things will get better because nothing stays the same.

B.Inspired said...

This is a great post and I am sorry to hear that this was the club you were referring to. May time help you heal .

LA Lynn's said...

WOW!!!!! I'm sending a virtual hug to you!!!! Im sooo sorry to hear this but most of all U CAN START AGAIN! *In do time* Wishing you NOTHING but PEACE & Blessings...


Minister of Style said...

Beautiful one you are stronger, more courageous, more loving than he ever thought you were. You will heal and be more fabulous than you already are because you have the King of Kings to pull your though. He said, He will never leave you or forsake you and He won't. Much love and hugs to you!

Irina said...

So sorry to hear... may God help you dear...

Bonnie said...

I was wondering about what kind of club it was, too. I'm sorry. :(
At least you are in very good company.
Jennifer Aniston and Sandra Bullock are hot, so there's that.
It could be a hot girls' club!
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

CEO(angie stone) said...

He tried to destroy you! But look at you now! Glad that you know that you can start again! Especially those of us who have been there before...the trick in getting through life is to live life and not let life live you!

You're a warrior and definitely a conqueror! GP are you with her?

Shasie said...

I definitely went through this too...wasn't married, but had the guy cheat on me. I'm so bitter about it, and don't think i'll ever love again, but today at Bible Study, I learned that I have to let this bitterness go because it will stand in the way of me meeting the right one. You can start again girl, you are so strong, and have been through so much. I can tell that you are strong just through your blog. So keep your head up.

Shasie of Live Life in Style

Silver Strands said...

Oh dear. You brought tears to my eyes. And YES - you CAN start again. Another phrase I heard recently that is so empowering is: I can do hard things.

Prayers for you.

angiejenkins2011 said...

Dearest LV,

My eyes welled up with tears when I read this. You have suffered so much over the past year and most of us will not endure in a lifetime, what you have experienced in such a short amount of time. You are such a good person and certainly one of the strongest women I know. YOU CAN START AGAIN! You are such an amazing person and I can say this because I have known you forever. You are the kind of person people write movies about. What a foolish man to not honor such a precious jewel. Every dog has his day and a good one has two. Keep your head up lady. You are going to be alright...

Trish said...

I love the verse you chose, "No weapon formed against me shall prosper." This verse implies that there will be weapons, but the truth that they will not prosper is so encouraging when you see them coming. Blessings to you, be strong.

allergic to vanilla said...

I'm so sorry to hear this- I got chills when I saw you face amongst the other ladies :( God will help you get through this, and much more. Stay strong.

xo Carlina

Marcia B. said...

Omg, you will get through this, sending you great vibes. I am now following your blog, follow me back - would love to keep up with your updates. xox

Catina said...

WOW that was powerful. And what's even stronger is your will to be a survivor. My mom use to tell me ,"you can show someone better than you can tell them" and that is EXACTLY what your doing. You are a rock that can't be moved girl. You have unbelievable strength because all your help comes from ABOVE. Keep your head high and be ready for those blessings our GOD has in store for you!!!

Preity Lama Tamang said...

Stay strong! I hope you feel better

Kerissa said...

Ok I came to visit you and I'm trying to hold the tears in. I'm not a part of this club but The Waiting Room Club not just for a mate but for dreams to manifest (thank you for stopping by and reading). One thing that has helped me see my value, worth and wait aside from my mom's strong teaching is honest folks who know that marriage isn't pretty. You can become a member of any branch (infidelity, abuse, financial struggles)of the club without deserving it. This post touched my heart in more ways than you can imagine. I pray that you second time is your first time because he will be the man GOD sends to love the rest of the old hurt away.

LooksbyLane said...

I am usually just a lurker (I mean reader) but I was really moved by your post. I was once a member of that club and I stayed there for almost 6 years. Someone who values you is out there.

Elaine @

High Heels & Good Meals! said...

um wow...this was very touching and inspiring all in the same token. Stay strong, you're definitely to be admired.

J'Adore Fashion said...

Hope you are ok dear! Lovely and inspiring words!


Fashion and Number said...

You'll go through this. I have faith in you. Hugs~

Open Minded and Real said...

Wow! Does everyone just jump on the band wagon because someone is making a statement about a trip we may feel that we've all been on and so therefore can relate. Or do we not ALL KNOW there is more than one side to every story and sometimes the individual putting out the press just might be wanting to deflect her own inadequencies and failures dumping and blaming rather than taking responsibility for her participation in the action
. Sometimes questionable women marry sweet and kind men who take for granted that the woman they married is honest, kind and has integrity and then finds out differently and chooses to stay anyway. However unhappily. Maybe he chooses to work more (and provide) and stay home less to avoid a mean spirited and ugly (inside) individual who is virtually and literally making their life miserable. How about the man who just sucks it up to try to make it work against constant drama. What about when that woman turns that sweet man sour and then relinquishes him to the world...Will he then "dog" us out for what the ugly woman did to him? Ladies...don't be so quick to judge what you did not know nor experience. LV you are beyond resilient you are like a Cheshire Cat constantly reinventing herself and always giving your best commentary about yourself. Really aloof but publicizing the touchy feely. Good luck girl! You are right! Every dog has their day whether they be male...or female.

LV said...

Open minded and real,

interesting perspective. Thank you for your comment, I can tell by the tone of this, that you have been through a storm yourself. I don't think anyone including myself would write something so painful for fun, or to "deflect insecurities"

Yes, I do believe that what goes around comes around and my position on that stands. I just don't think anything good in life comes to someone that spends their time and energy trying to do things to intentionally hurt someone else.

And for those who have been scorned, whether they are male or female, they need to take the responsibility for their healing and recovery before diving into a relationship and making someone else suffer for the hurt someone else caused.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and peace and blessings to you.

Fashion.MakeUp.LifeStyle said...

This is such a powerful and amazing post lady. I hope for nothing less than the best for you and it sounds like your doing fabulous and are finally chasing your own dreams! Like you said keep your head high and always keep moving forward.

<3 Marina

Catina said...

I was so moved by your post that I shared it with a friend, and we had the best conversation. She is unfortunately a member of "The Club" and she said she is FINALLY happy. She is a beautiful girl that always had her eyes on "someone else’s husband". She engaged in an affair with him, for several years, and he eventually left his wife....and married her. My friend actually boasted about "taking someone's husband" and thought it was cute. So she marries this guy, and a few years later, he did the SAME thing to her that he did to his first wife. Not only did he engage in affairs, but he showed his true self.....the dark side of him. She was stunned at his behavior, but looking back on it......she admitted she was so thirsty for a husband she simply overlooked the signs. If he would treat his first wife like a stray dog, why wouldn't he treat his second wife the same way? She didn't realize the truth in that statement until she thought back to how SHE got him? Needless to say, she went through a messy divorce, and was left with very little material things, $2300, and her smile. After 6 years of living for the devil she is now saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Spirit.....and couldn't be happier. She said if she had to do it all over again, she would have NEVER dealt with a married man, who turned out to be a closeted egotistical psychotic maniac. Her new motto now is, “Experience is the best teacher".

CEO(angie stone) said...

Open minded and real are do you feel a bit intimidated that everyone is jumping on the bandwagon?

Many people can relate to her situation and therefore are giving their support! There’s always more than one side to a story!

Actually, there are three sides your side, his side and the truth! Let’s cut through the chase, this is definitely a personal response to her message!

You are following this blog very close which I think is great! Inadequacies, failures, and tossing responsibilities, when have you ever known a relationship that has not have some type of inadequacies or failures at one point or the other?

I commend LV for her bravery of first walking away and being able to share with others.

See many people portray their relationships as though nothing is going wrong. The only difference between her and others, is that she’s chooses to share her story, and others don’t.

Sometimes questionable men take many sweet women for granted that the man they married is honest, “a gross misrepresentation of themselves.” Come honest in the relationship and reveal it all! Do not hide and think it will never come out! What is done in the dark will eventually come to the light, and that is what happened!

Maybe he chooses to work more as an excuse to stay away from home because one of his inadequacies is lack of communication!

Many people have not yet learned the art of communicating so they make lame excuses! I say to them grow up and collect your nuts!

How about the woman who just sucks it up and tries to make it work against constant drama? Woman have mastered the art of how to “suck it up.”

How about the sweet man she thought she married was a jerk from the beginning and was able to conceal his true identity, but you don’t hear me now!

I think people are intelligent enough to make their own decisions about what she writes. Her experience will help other people.

Have a wonderful day!

LV you are an inspiration to others!

angiejenkins2011 said...

Open minded and Real,

Yes, we are quick to jump on the bandwagon. We respect LV and what she stands for. And many can relate to her pain and what she has dealt with.

It is very clear that your comment is intended to be a personal attack. Are you the other woman? You use a thinly veiled insult, and then go into a detailed diatribe that sounds like you are defending a man mistreating his wife. When men cheat, they always say negative things about their spouse to justify what they are doing. A cheating man will never say, my wife was kind to me and I treated her like crap.

This blog is positive and uplifting
and inspires so many people. There is no place here for negativity and taking cheap pot shots at a woman that so many people find warm, sincere and amazing.

LV, keep writing and inspiring us!

Open Minded and Real said...

Brava Ladies! Brava! Everything transparent is sometimes veiled and some things that appear to be right in your face are sometimes invisible based on what you perceive it to be.
It would make things easy if you could make commentary fit into the picture that you would like to portray. Angiejenkins2011 I will not dignigy your commentary with a response.
With many world views and in history people are often attacked for having a differing point of reference then the group...Look at our Lord & Savior.
Taking the lead of Luke 6:41,42...Why, then, do you look at the straw that is in your brother, 'Brother, allow me to extract the straw that is in your eye, while you yourself are not looking at the rafter in that eye of yours? Hypocrite! First extract the rafter from your own eye, and then you will see clearly how to extract the straw that is in your brother's eye.
Adding...Matthew 7:1-5, "Stop judging that you may not be judged; 2, for with judgment YOU are judging you will be judged; and with the measure that YOU are measuring out, they will measure out to you. 3, Why then, do you look at the straw in your brother's eye, but do not consider the rafter in your own eye? 4, Or how can you say to your brother, Allow me to extract the straw from your eye; when, look? a rafter is in your own eye? 5, Hypocrite! First extract the rafter from your own eye, and then you will see clearly how to extract the straw from your brother's eye.
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to participate in what appears to be a prejudicial and closed forum. I will continue to open minded and real and not be detered by direct insults from strangers to another for me having an independent opinion of my own. I guess that makes me self sustaining, fulfilled and courageous and I will continue to be...Open Minded and Real. Thank you again!

Lisa C said...

Beautiful tale of hurt, pain, sorrow, strength, a willingness to look up and move on. Thanks for sharing and yes, your courage can definitely help anyone who has experienced this very thing. Hugs to you.

Jeeda said...

LV love, love, love this post!! Like I tell my babies (girl friends) I can comfort and preach until I'm blue in the face but only "YOU" know when enough is enough...and thank god you knew when enough is enough. You have such a positive soul and agenda I'm sooo glad you decided NOT to renew your membership and are no longer part of the club!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your kind comment on my blog! Great post, very touching; you seem to be a very confident woman who can get through anything, so I have no doubt that you will get through this and come out stronger! All the best :)

Barry said...

Although I don't know the dynamics of your situation I'd like to say I'm sorry you went through this. I'm encouraged that you're moving on and refusing to let it break you.

Several friends have spoken with me about affairs they've had or are currently having (three ended for various reasons, one is simmering as she tries to strengthen her relationship with her husband). Some have afforded me a very intimate look into their relationships with their husbands and lovers. I listen without judgement or prejudice, but I know too that there are no winners in this. The closest thing to any semblance of victory is when the one slighted decides to reclaim his/her life.

You said you watched your picket fence dream go up in smoke when you decided to walk away from what made you cry and chase after happiness. In my eyes that fence had already gone up in smoke some time ago, by walking away you gave yourself a chance to find it again. It was a victory and took strength, and I think in time you'll find that you emerge from this a stronger person.

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