Happy Birthday to Me!

Birthdays...

We love cake, ice cream and presents don't we?

When you get older and wiser you realize that each birthday is a special gift from God. I remember when I was younger I couldn't wait for each milestone birthday. At the age of 12 I couldn't wait to be 13 and then 16 and then 21 and then somewhere after 25 I stopped counting.

I think its funny that I am getting closer to being able to order from the senior citizens menu, but that is a blessing too. Wrinkles and laugh lines are blessings even though society says we should be ashamed of them. A wrinkle and laugh lines say that you have lived long and well and that is something to be celebrated.

Now I reflect more on my birthdays because I don't know when it will be my last one and I want my life to mean something. Even though a lot of us like to make life about us, I find my deepest joy comes from making someone else's life a little better. I am usually in the shadows doing things for others that no one knows about because I don't crave the spotlight. Most of the time, I run from it.

I go through a lot, but one of the lessons I have learned is that my life does not have to be perfect to be a  blessing to someone else and my trials and tribulations do not define me.

 I have been through hell and high water and I am still here.

I am still standing STRONG

Forgiveness has been the hardest lesson for me to learn because the people that were the closest to me, the ones who were supposed to love me have inflicted the greatest pain upon me and that includes family, as well as friends. They have lied on me, talked about me behind my back, made me the subject of vicious gossip and laughed at my challenges. How do you reconcile in your mind a person that would rather believe a lie about you than the truth?  Or a person that gets close to you just to try and hurt you? How do you love someone who treats you like that?

You can't.

Unless God helps you. The hardest lesson in my life has been loving people that are unlovely. Those are the ones I am on my knees praying for at night. 

And now with the wisdom you only get from experience, I love them from a distance because everyone does not deserve a seat in the front row of your life. If their hearts are wrong, they have automatically disqualified themselves.

Joy and happiness are my constant companions

I take the time to stop and smell the roses and have the kiss of the ocean on my face. The beach has always been my happy place

My steps are ordered by God

Strength and Honor are her clothing and 
she shall rejoice in time to come - Proverbs 31:25

Photography: Stacey Gutierrez

Dear Past: Thank you for the lessons

Dear Future: I'm ready!